He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
