Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
