And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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