you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
