I molested 6 butterflies tonight
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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