Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
