It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
That accounts for only three of the penises
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
