It's Friday. Sex?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Randomize
