summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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