Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
