I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
