I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
