It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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