We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
