i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
