did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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