She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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