The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Don't make out with my wife yet
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
