What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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