Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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