Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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