my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
