Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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