I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
