where does the pee come out of this thing
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
