oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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