If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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