exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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