FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
