im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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