I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
The beers last night were like the tears from god
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
