You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
