Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Randomize
