And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
