i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
