I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
