Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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