Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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