So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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