So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
