those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
