Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize