He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize