worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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