belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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