dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
