There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
