Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
