glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
