someone threw a dead crab at me
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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