Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
