just come out here and I will go home with you...
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
My pussy is not your playground.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
