I'm lost and stupid without you.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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