i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
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