Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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