Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Found your dick twin last night
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
