wat bout pragnant strippers??
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
