Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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