my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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