Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
