We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
