I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
